the Junk Lady

The Labyrinth is one of my all time favorite movies (yes, that's the one with David Bowie in spandex).  Through the years people have asked me why, oh why do I love that movie.  I cannot understand why someone would NOT love it... I mean, come on, really... the bog-of-eternal-stench, biting fairies, the junk lady, goblins and trolls, and... David Bowie in spandex. 
But above all of the wonderful Steven Spielberg creativity that emerged from the Labyrinth, I love the life applications. 
It's a story of a young self-centered girl, Sarah, who takes a journey through a dangerous journey to save her little half-brother from an evil goblin king, Jareth, and finds herself in the end.  While it's not a "Christian" movie, I love the Christian parallel themes that emerge and apply to life.
One of my favorites is the Junk Lady.  She is a goblin who lives in a junk pile.  Sarah falls into the junk pile, into a den deep in the pile that looks and feels exactly like Sarah's old bedroom.  It is a trick of the goblin king to make Sarah forget her journey to save her brother.  Jareth figures that if Sarah is preoccupied with her own "stuff," she will forget her little brother and the journey that she is on through the Labyrinth.  The junk lady is with Sarah in her faux bedroom, reminding her how much she loves her little toys, her music boxes, her stuffed animals "everything in the world you've ever cared about is all right here," the lady says... but something isn't right.
Sarah starts to remember Toby, her little brother. 
"It's all JUNK!" she screams.
The walls starts to cave in and she realizes that she is actually standing in the middle of a trash dump.
"I have to save Toby!"

Sometimes I feel like Sarah.  I'm sitting in my bedroom, safe and comfortable, surrounded by my "toys" and the things that I love... I wonder if the "goblin king" is simply distracting me with my favorite things to keep me away from the journey, the fight.

And when I step away, traveling to Haiti or just downtown Wichita, the fog is lifted and I remember what I'm doing.  I remember my sojourn. 

When Eric and I took a trip to the Dominican Republic we encountered poverty for the first time in our lives.  I had never seen anything so real.  I will never forget what Eric said about that trip:  he said, "it's like America is Disney World.  We all live in Disney World and think that princesses walking around in big fluffy dresses is just normal and everyone lives in castles.  But Disney World is a fantasy, not a reality.  This is the real world."
Those of us who live life well should be thankful for what we have worked so hard for and the blessings that we have received.  Life has been kind.  Fortune and fate have been kind. 
God has been kind.  He is always good.

All of our toys will become junk one day. 
Remember the journey and the purpose.  Remember what we're here for.

Think about it,
b.

"Oh THERE you are!"

Let me tell ya.  I have not been a nice person lately.  I have really been struggling to sit quietly with the Lord, trying to listen for whatever is going on in my heart.  I have recognized that it may be spiritual warfare and have prayed accordingly.  Anyway, my heart is just cold.  On Sunday I woke up with this thought:  I don't like people.  They're messy and annoying.  They're self-focused and unappreciative and unchanging. 
Hmm...
Not great "Marriage and Family Therapy student" material here...
And then I thought:  Lord, I really need to see you in other people.  I like YOU... help me to see YOU in the messiest of people. 

A daily prayer of the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta went this way:
"Dearest Lord...
though you hide yourself behind
the unattractive disguise of the irritable,
the exacting, and the unreasonable, may
I still recognize you and say,
'Jesus... how sweet it is to serve you.'"

The Missionaries of Charity were not naive in their evaluation of the people around them.  They truly were unattractive, irritating, and messy people.  But they prayed that they may recognize the Lord who hides behind them and within them.  Somehow it is accomplishable.  So this was my simple prayer wrote out on a small piece of paper on Sunday morning.  It will continue to be my daily prayer. 
My heart has a long way to go.

I was also reminded of my favorite scene in the movie "Hook."  Robin Williams plays Peter Pan as an adult.  He promised that he would never grow up but he did- and he forgot who he was meant to be.  During this scene, a little lost boy pulls Peter to the ground and starts examining his face- searching for the Peter Pan that he remembered.  He pushes and pulls his skin until he finds him exclaiming, "Oh THERE you are, Peter!" 

Sometimes Jesus is really, really hard to see in those around us.  He seems to hide and we must push and pull and seek and pray until we can see Jesus in them.  "Oh THERE you are, Jesus!"
Pray for me.  I'm seeking...

think about it,
b.

The Color of Hunger

hunger is white.

The white flies that feast on the skin

of the deep trash pit in Las Flores.

The skin of the children who wade through the larva-feces

agua breaking their brown flesh on stones and bottles.

Hunger is the white now yellow now brown eyes

of the men who lay in hammocks,

the children who fall through the floors,

the women who walk uphill pregnant wearing

clothes far too tight or ten sizes too small.

Hunger is the white of their teeth white

with no decay because there is no food to chew.

Hunger is the white of my open full refrigerator where

i stand starving starving, I swear, but can find nothing to eat.

Snakes and stones will break my bones

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"  Matthew 7:9-11

Bread and fish.  Reminds us of the feeding of the five-thousand, doesn't it?  A little boy was walking by with a small lunch and with it Jesus fed a vast crowd.  When the hungry people reached their hands into the passing baskets, they didn't pull out rocks and venomous snakes... that would have been a cruel trick.  Father God provided exactly what they needed. 

When Jesus was hungry in the wilderness, the enemy tempted him- using his hunger against him.  "If you're the Son of God," he said, "why don't you tell these stones to become bread?"  Jesus wasn't swayed.  He knew the Father would feed him when it was time.  The Father had provided stones in this moment, in the wilderness- he wouldn't turn them into bread if it wasn't the Father's will. 
It would have been great if Jesus looked at Satan and said, "You know, Satan, my Father also said something about "fish" and "snakes"... you're a serpent... and fish would taste really great right about now... you better get outta here before my Father makes you my lunch."

Think of another time when Jesus gave the people bread.  The Passover meal, right?  Jesus broke bread and fed His disciples.  Right before His death.  Now think of a time when He gave them fish.  After He rose again.  After the disciples had gone back to their former fishing jobs, Jesus was on the shore making breakfast for them- fish and bread (John 21:9). 

Small coincidences?  Nope.  The Father always, always gives good gifts.
The enemy will give you snakes.
People will stone you.
But the Father will listen to your request and make the perfect meal.

think about it,
b.

Just for fun

So last night I was mad and moody and angry and hating everything and everyone around me.  I hosted Writing Retreat - the folks there are so easy to talk to so I opened up with them about what I was feeling.  They were instantly gracious and reminded me that
1)  There is a spiritual battle
2)  I don't have to be so hard on myself
3)  The Lord is doing good things, don't get discouraged
4)  Remember to do something fun and take time for myself

Oh yeah.. and... I'm an introvert.  I completely forgot that I need time to myself to refuel and recharge.  Duh.  I have been so wrapped up lately with the concerns of the world that I forgot about taking care of myself.  Loving the "least of these" in the world doesn't work well if I can't love the "least of these" found within my own soul. 

Thanks, Writing Retreat friends!  I spent the rest of the evening playing that stupid Drawing game on my ipad and watching Dr. Katz episodes (one of my favorite shows!!!) and laughed until I fell asleep... it was a great night. 

b.

The wishes of children

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  -Plato

If you ask the Lord to open your eyes to the pain and brokenness around you, it will happen.
Two weeks ago, He opened my eyes to the stuff happening right here in Wichita. 
Last week, He opened them to what is happening right at our church and in our school district...

Our middle school youth at church were asked to write down one of the greatest "stressors" in their life right now.  Sadly, their stress goes beyond homework and peers.  These kids admitted divorce, death of parents, various abuses, thoughts of suicide...

And Keane's fourth grade class was asked to write down a special "wish."  His teacher took a side-view picture of each kid- looking like they were blowing dandelion seeds- and posted these wishes in the hallway.  I took a moment to read all of them when I was at his school last Friday. 
Remember, these are fourth graders. 

One girl wished her twin brother had not died hours after birth.
One girl wished for a million dollars so her parents could pay their taxes.
One girl wished there was no war- so her dad would not have died as a soldier.
One boy wished for no cancer so his aunt would not be sick.
One girl wished she had long, beautiful hair (she is recovering from cancer).
One boy wished his dad would come home.

Plato said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  So true.  Everyone has a story and often those stories are filled with pain and struggle.  Be kind.  Jesus went beyond that to say, "love."  Love your enemies- because you don't know why they are so filled with hatred and violence.  Love your neighbor- because you don't know what goes on within their four walls.  Love yourself- because you have already walked a long road and you don't know what else is in your future.  Love "the least of these"- because no one else loves them.  Love the poor- because the world rejects them.

Again, we don't have to get on an airplane and fly around the world to find the broken.  They are in our neighborhoods.  They are in our schools.  They are in our churches. 

Think about it,
b.

Get dirty

"The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.

But some people have missed this whole point.
They have turned away from these things and spend their time in meaningless discussions.

They want to be known as teachers of the law of Moses, but they don’t know what they are talking about, even though they speak so confidently."  - 1 Timothy 1:5-7


Pews or chairs?
Band or praise team?
Suits or jeans?
Immersion or sprinkle baptism?
Speaking in tongues or no?
Predestination or choice?
KJV or NIV?
Halloween?  Santa?  Easter Bunny?
Women teaching or quiet in church?
Hats on or off in church?
Wine or grape juice?
Once saved, always saved?
Divorce?  Remarry?

Good questions, right?  I'll say up front: none of these questions in and of themselves are wrong to discuss or ponder (I encourage pondering!).  The problem comes when we, as God's children, spend so much time and energy discussing, discussing, discussing and less time loving.  As Paul said, some people have missed the whole point and have turned away from love to spend their time with meaningless discussions.  In Paul's day, people loved to talk about the Law.  They wanted to know just how far they could get from the Law without sinning.  That was the whole point of their discussion. 

For example, if the discussion was about the Sabbath they pondered how many steps, literal steps, they could talk on the Sabbath day without sinning against God.  Or tithing.  They wondered how much they had to give (or how little they had to pay) to get God off of their backs. 

And Paul says, listen, you don't know what you're even talking about.  You talk a good talk but you have no idea what God really thinks about those things.  You're missing the entire point. 
You don't even love the people you're talking to.
You don't know their stories.
You don't even know what God is doing in their lives right now.
You're so concerned about being righteous that you're afraid to get dirty.

Get dirty.
Love people.

Think about it,
b.

Machine Gun Preacher

Let me confess a vice to you and let you know that I love (and watch regularly) pirated, free movies online.  I know, it's terrible.  But a couple of weeks ago I ran across a new movie called Machine Gun Preacher.  Unlike so many other Christian movies that "are like rainbows deep-fried in happiness, served next to a basket of fries carved from sunshine" (thanks to "Stuff Christians Like" #742), this one really gets down to the hell of sin and human suffering. 
Quite honestly, it's painful to watch.  But it's real.  It's based on a true story.
I watched it having just returned from Haiti and I cried through most of it.  At one point, Sam Childers, the main character, started to become calloused and bitter toward life.  He was angry because of the death of so many children.  He was angry because of the passive arrogance of rich Christians.  He was angry because he couldn't do more to save more children.  He reminded me of how I felt having just returned from Haiti.  Bitter.  But then one of the children, who had participated in the death of his own mother- being forced, challenged him to keep his heart soft- to not allow the evil of the world to steal his heart.
This was a turning point for me. 

I honestly can't tell you what I think about this movie morally... is it good what he's doing?  Is it okay to kill the enemy to save the children?  As he says at the end (paraphrasing), "if someone stole your child and I told you that I could get him back... would it matter how I did it?"
Hmmm...
As I go along in life, I realize that I have less and less absolutes and more and more questions.  I'm not God, I just love Him.  I don't even understand Him most of the time, I just try to follow along with clumbsy steps.  As our friend Chuck said, "True reality is that Jesus died on the cross, rose again, and we're supposed to live like him."  That's about all I know, too.  On every given morning, I struggle to know what Jesus would do about a number of life issues but I try to honor Him and obey as best as I can.  You?

So.  I'm no longer bitter.  But I do feel a strong, passionate desire to make my life count for others instead of simply living for myself.  One way I am walking forward is by trying to make a difference in the lives of youth here in Wichita.  There are so many ways to get involved... I'm tired of hearing my own excuses.  Sex trafficked youth, abandoned youth, fatherless kiddos, lonely kiddos, etc.  Kids need attention.  They need mentors.  They need a safe friend.  They need someone to bring them to church.  They need a listening ear.  They need a warm bed and predictable meals.  Sometimes they need a man with a gun shooting down the bad guy.  Or in America, putting the bad guy in jail.

Below is an interview with the real Sam Childers.  If you get a chance, and want your spiritual eyes to be opened more to what's really going on in the world right now, watch Machine Gun Preacher.

Think about it,
b. 

Slavery in Wichita

Did you know that slavery is alive and well in Wichita? 
Did you know that children are bought, sold, and shipped like cattle out of this city?

Guess what.  It happens.  Eric and I, along with Herk and Margie Russell, attended a meeting tonight in downtown Wichita to learn more about the traffick sex trade.  An organization called ICT S.O.S., now only 1 year old, is making tremendous strides in the slave trade world. 

Find their info here:  ICT S.O.S.

Wichitans have responded in force.  It's a good thing.

Read articles here:  Wichita Eagle Articles

So what?  Well, we don't have to get on a plane or drive across the country to find a place to help out, to show the love of Christ.  Wichita is one of the top "originating cities," meaning, that pimps (or "johns") find a lot of their child slaves right here in our city.  We sit on major intersecting highways that allow them to cart the kids out and off to who-knows-where.  ICT S.O.S. is working for those stories to change. 

Saturday May 5th 11a.m.- a documentary about the sex slave industry is playing at Prairie Rose.

Saturday Sept. 15- Race for Freedom 5k. The goal is to raise awareness and funding to help stop human trafficking in Wichita.

I'm planning to be there.  Care to join me?





 

God likes new things

Yesterday we celebrated Easter- the day when God rose Jesus from the dead, making Him new, and offering new life to humanity. Pastor Steve spoke about this yesterday morning and I thought about it for the rest of the day. The truth is, we live in a dying world. The moment we are born, we start dying. The moment we drive new cars off of the lot, they depreciate in value. New homes need repair. Our bodies wither and age. Trees lose limbs and eventually fall down. The world is dying and groaning in its despair (Romans 8:22) Something- anything- that is "new" only stays that way for a moment or two.

When Eric and I were dating and then engaged, good-hearted friends warned us about losing the "puppy love" phase of our relationship saying that it would soon wear away when we settled into the monotonous struggle of marriage. I am proud to say that now eleven years later, we are still very much in love. This did not come easy, however, we have had to work hard to stay in love. We have had to work hard to keep our marriage "new." Date night, constant communication, laughter, and grace have attributed to the newness. But even then, our relationship is not new as much as it is older and better. You know what I'm saying?

I looked up the word "new" in my Bible concordance and was surprised by how many references there are for that word. As Pastor Steve said, people love new things.  But obviously, God loves new things as well. The world He created, before sin was introduced, was constantly new. It never decayed. It never died.

These are just a few of the examples:
He wants to give us new hearts (never hard, calloused, and old- Ezekiel 11:19).
He is longing with anticipation the day when he can give us new bodies and new names (Isaiah 62:2, 2 Corinthians 5:1).
He wants a relationship with us that is never stagnate (it can be new every morning Lamentations 3:23)
but constantly being renewed- falling in love with the Lord again and again and again (Revelation 2:4, 2 Corinthians 4:16).

Ponder such a world.  Imagine never being in pain, never aging.  Imagine driving a car that always ran perfectly with never the need for maintenance.  Imagine a house that never needed painting, carpet that never needed to be replaced.  Imagine family members never dying, children never getting sick.  Imagine being in love- always in love.  Imagine waking up with your loved one- years later still being as much in love as when you first met.

This is what God has promised us.  He's good, isn't He?

until soon,
b.

only a drop of water

"In Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torment, and saw Abraham far away and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried out and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus so that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool off my tongue, for I am in agony in this flame.’" Luke 16:23-24


The story of "Lazarus and the rich man" intrigues me.  Jesus tells the story of a certain rich man who dressed in fine linen and enjoyed the life of luxury every day.  Lazarus, a poor beggar, lay dying on his front steps covered in sores.  The rich man despised the beggar and refused to feed or care for him.  The dogs, however, did.  The dogs would leave little crumbs for him to eat- and would cleanse his sores by licking the open wounds, removing the puss.  The dogs did their best.  


Well, Lazarus eventually died and was carried away by the angels to a place of rest and comfort.  The rich man, on the other hand, simply died and was buried.  No angels to sweep him away, no comfort and rest. He went to Hades where he suffered in flames.  


I am intrigued that here, while burning and suffering, the rich man would see Lazarus.  He never noticed him before.  No doubt, this was part of the agony.  For he could see the poor man now living like royalty, enjoying a life of luxury while he suffered.  No doubt, this was his greatest suffering.  Do you wonder why he would ask only for a drop of water?  Why would he not ask for Lazarus to pull a few strings and get him out of there?!  Why would he not ask for a glass of water, or a pitcher of water, or for a swimming pool to splash around in?!  


Did you notice that he asked Abraham to send Lazarus to give him water... as if Lazarus were still a slave and servant to his arrogant self?  Abraham, of course, turned down his request.  Then the man begged Abraham to send Lazarus to his five brothers to warn them about what awaited after death.  Again, Abraham turned down his request.  "They have Moses and the Prophets," he said, "and if they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be persuaded even if someone rises from the dead."


Jesus rose from the dead.  We will celebrate that fact tomorrow morning.  Hallelujah.  But some will still not believe.  Like the rich man, they don't want to be saved.  They are not looking for a Messiah- they just want a little relief from their discomfort.  They do not want a Lord or a God that they must be accountable to- they want to be comfortable in their own self-focused lifestyle.  Interesting.


Yet, like the rich man, I often think about my own "brothers," wishing and praying that they would turn their lives over to the Lord- while they stubbornly still refuse his salvation.  They have heard the truth about Jesus Christ and like Pilate, walk away muttering, "What is truth?" (John 18:38).  Truth is standing right in front of them.

Sometimes I wish for guest passes.  You know what I'm saying?  Like when you buy a zoo or museum pass and they throw in a few "guest passes" to allow some friends enter for free.  Wouldn't it be great if Jesus would throw in a few guest passes for stubborn friends and relatives?  But again, Jesus is looking for souls who will worship Him in spirit and in truth (there's that word again!).  The rich man had no interest in Moses and the Prophets.  He wasn't looking for the Messiah.  He wasn't even asking to enter Heaven.  Even after death, his only concern was his own comfort.  Some people have no desire to change.  No desire to serve a risen Lord.  No desire to scrape a dying man off of the streets.  No desire to follow Jesus into poverty, into sickness, into martyrdom, even into Paradise.

Lord, give us the "want to."  Give us the desire to follow you.
think it through.
until soon,
b.

A Holy Discontent

Confession. 

I recently visited the country of Haiti on a medical missionary trip.  Many well-wishers offered words of warning concerning the culture of Haiti; however, the "culture shock" was much, much more intense returning to the States than when I landed on foreign soil.

When we landed in Fort Launderdale, our team had to gather our numerous suitcases, round them off of the carousel, and struggle through the winding lines toward customs.  At one point, while standing in line, one of the ladies unzipped a bag and juggled a few items around in order to make the load a bit lighter.  Seeing a small gap in the line, passengers started cutting in line, pushing forward, pouring into the gap in front of our group.  They were arrogantly ignoring the struggle that we were having with our bags.  I thought the worst part about this scenerio is that probably 80% of these people just came from some kind of mission trip and call themselves "Christians."

A little later, I was sitting on the floor at the Dallas airport waiting for our plane.  I was eating a meatball sub.  An elderly lady and her husband were sitting in the seats closest to me, watching me eat with disdain.  Lord knows what they were thinking.  I had dirty feet and greasy hair.  As I said, I was sitting on the floor.  The woman looked at me with her painted eyebrows raised high.  Her bony fingers were adorned with diamonds, her lips puffed and pouted from anti-aging injections.  The American wealthy.

Several weeks have gone by since then.
Tonight I watched a DVD teaching by a popular Christian woman.  Now I acknowledge that this particular teacher has a good heart but I found myself so disgusted by the big hair, the dramatic lengthening of her words, the manicured nails, the fancy clothes, the heavy make-up... is this what an American Christian woman thinks she should be?  Is this what we are seeking to attain?  And yet, this is what our American Christian industry produces for the American Christian masses.  I looked around the room at the other women sitting with me.  I know several who could never afford a manicure.  What about them?

Oh America.  I envied them when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.  They seem to live such a painless life; their bodies are so healthy and strong.  They aren't troubled like other people or plagued with problems like everyone else.  They wear pride like a jeweled necklace, and their clothing is woven of cruelty.  These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for!
...
Then I realized how bitter I had become.
how pained I had been by all I had seen.  I was so foolish and ignorant.
(Psalm 73:2-7,21-22)

... by all I had seen. 

Our God, thank you for the Holy Discontent.  Turn my bitterness and my anger into grief that leads to compassion and action.  Forgive me for my critical spirit.  Teach us what it means to be a follower of Jesus- with simplicity and humility.  Teach us what it means to be Godly, beautiful men and women of surrendered passion. 

A wall and a bull

I found an awesome little book of stories at Goodwill the other day and was reading to Keane last night before he went to bed.  The story was about a little boy who was playing in the yard with his friend when his father came outside and said, "Whatever you do, don't go over that wall at the end of the yard."  Well, guess where he went as soon as his father went back inside.  On the other side of the wall was a ferocious bull that came charging.

It reminds me of another story I heard of a father warning his young son to not put beans up his nose.  Guess where the bean went when his father walked out of the room?

Now, it might be a coincidence that both of these stories involve fathers and sons but it reminds us of the story related in the Garden of Eden.  The Father says don't touch the tree, don't eat the fruit and guess what the kiddos do as soon as God "walks away?"  Of course, in that story, it's the woman who succumbs to temptation and I think the Lord set it up like that for a reason.  (Ladies, we can't blame the men!) 

I read these stories and think, "well, it's not fair.  The father should have given a reason.  He should have warned the son about the bull, or the bean that could sprout up into his brain, or the 'eternal death and sin' issue.  He was just asking for trouble.  The father was tempting him!"  But that is a lie.  The Father does not tempt, nor is He tempted (James 1:13).  The Father demands obedience whether we understand or not.  Just like a child that is safely playing in the yard, with a raging bull not more than 100 yards away.  The danger only lies over the wall.  The child is perfectly safe within the yard.

Still, the Father knew that we would jump the wall.  He knew we were curious to the death.  We wanted to know what we over there.  We wanted to know what would happen once our feet hit the ground on the other side.  So the bull charged, we were gored, bloodied, and left for dead- our Father found us, picked us up, and resurrected our little lifeless bodies.  No... He jumped over the wall and stood in front of the bull.  He was gored and bloodied.  And we went free.

That's what Holy Week is all about.  We remember the jump over the wall and the day we were redeemed.  We remember and celebrate how our Father came back to life.  And killed the bull.  And tore down the wall so that we could live in a world with no more danger, no more fear, and no more temptation.

You are redeemed.  Now what will you do with your freedom?

Up on the Roof

On the recommendation of Pastor Steve, my husband and I spent the afternoon on the roof.  We prayed about our stuff.  What should we let go of?  What would be hard to let go of?  What should we just relax and enjoy?  Are we being faithful with it? 

One of our favorite movies is Brother Sun Sister Moon.  Young Francis throws all of his (and his father's) belongings out of the window to the poor people below.  He then strips down and walks bare butt out of the town- owning nothing. 

Eric and I sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the Lord, when I looked over and saw my husband sitting on the roof- butt naked.  Of course I gasped and freaked out laughing.  Good thing our neighbors are all gone for the day.  He laughed and said, "Well, I just wanted to be like St. Francis and surrender everything to the Lord."

I think Pastor Steve also said something about "be careful little eyes what you see..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15Qqnl3_QrU