I'm sitting in a dark room. My husband is asleep on his little recliner beside me (he broke his neck about a month ago and now sleeps in a reclining position). The only light is from the computer and a forehead-bound flashlight. So guess where the bugs are. Moths, flies, gnats, weird beetle-like things... I had no idea there were so many bugs in my house but they have come out of hiding to attack my computer screen.
This is why it's so hard to live a contemplative life. So many, many distractions. Today I put on my headphones and began listening to a Centering Prayer meditation at the exact moment that life was falling apart somewhere out in my living room. All at once, everyone needed Mom!!! Well, that didn't work so I will wake up early tomorrow morning to find the quiet.
I ordered Thomas Keating's book Open Mind, Open Heart so I will let you know how it goes. I have once again been reminded that I am a contemplative and cannot live a full, discerning life with my God if I fail to take time contemplating and meditating upon His word in the solitude of His loving Spirit. My soul is not content without stillness. How often we fail to live in quiet. Even our church services are full of fellowship (talking!), laughter, music (a loud band), etc... none of which are wrong or bad. The problem comes when we fail to find time for silence and stillness and retreat. We fail to contemplate.
So off I go. The lights will be turned off, the bugs will tuck themselves into their little beds. I will meditate upon the goodness of the Lord.
Have a good night.
until soon,
b.
God is good.... and you, my love, are a big part of that goodness. you are so gifted at communicating these thoughts.... I know that I am one of the guilty ones to run into the room right when you are starting to doze off....the Lord really has given you a great challenge!.... if you can be a contemplative and be married to me... then you really ARE contemplative...and amazing. I love you.
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