the Present Moment

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

- BUDDHA

I hear music playing.  A soft piano ambiance behind the gentle ticking of a clock.  

The present moment.

I am breathing.

My nose is stuffed up so I open my mouth.

I'm not sure of the time.  My house is quiet.

"Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right."

I have a beautiful home and a wonderful family.

I slept well last night and am feeling rested.

I am loved.

"Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable."

The squirrel is gathering the nuts on the ground.

I am a good mother.

My husband is my best friend.

"Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

God.  The beautiful world.

People who live with love in their hearts.

Children who play in safety.

"What are mortals that you should think of us?"

God.  Thinking of us.

Thinking of us as honorable, pure, lovely, excellent.

Thinking of us in this present moment.

Looking on us with love.

until soon,

b.

one word that brings peace

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace."

- BUDDHA

What is one word- one single word- that brings peace?  

That word should be the name of Jesus.  In God's Kingdom, that word is Jesus.  In my heart, that word is Jesus.  Unfortunately however, in our world, that word brings strife and anger, hatred and violence.  

Lord Jesus, to me, your name is peace.  

Your name is life and love.  

Forgiveness and grace. 

A kind smile.

A comforting touch.

Your name is a look that says, "I understand."

Your name is a gentle whisper that says, "I'm here."

That is no other word, no other name, that brings peace- to those who truly know it.

until soon,

b.

The wrong number... every time.

I didn't sleep well last night because today was my first day of Grad school. I tossed and turned and finally fell back to sleep about 3:30 am until my phone rang at 5.
"Hello?"
Voice: "Who dis?!"
"Umm... I think you have the wrong number."
Voice: "Well who dis?!"
"Sir, you have the wrong number."
Voice: "Well... is Tug-Boat there?"
"Sir, you have the wrong number."
Voice: "This is bullshit."
Click.

Okay, so as you would imagine, I had a hard time getting back to sleep. I was at first annoyed and then I was really entertained and giggled for quite a while.
I don't have any profound insight but listen, if you're calling someone at 5am and they answer the phone really groggy and sleepy sounding and sound like a young white woman when you're looking for "Tug-Boat," you might have the wrong number.

How many times do we need to press in and ask "who dis?!" before we get it into our brains that maybe we have the wrong number? No matter how many times you ask, the person on the other end will never turn into "Tug-Boat."

There are so many ways this could go.
If "Tug-Boat" isn't there, maybe you should just hang up and dial a new number. Or consider that the number you dialed may be the right one but you should ask for someone else?

until soon,
b.

Missing our brother

Brandon had spent the last four years hitchhiking around the country and landed in Andover, Kansas.  He hitched a ride north until a cop picked him up and brought him back south to Andover.  Discouraged, he sat outside the local McDonalds to rest.  Now Andover is a relatively small town.  A friend of ours remembers pulling through the drive-thru to order and sees Brandon sitting there.  He thought, "hey homeless," in disgust and drove away.  Later, he felt so terrible ab out seeing Brandon and doing nothing that the next time he saw someone who needed help he was the first to volunteer.  Turns out the guy he picked up was in need of rehab in a bad way so he went the extra mile and checked him into the rehab facility downtown.  And more, he went back every week to pick him up and bring him to church.  Homeless guys can be good friends- as was the case with Brandon.

Eric saw him walking by the church with his inner frame backpack- his life on his back.  Seems Brandon was trying to get another ride north and then on to New Jersey to see his mother (or so the story goes- you never really know if these guys are telling the truth- turns out he was).  So he stopped to rest with us for the night. 

The first thing you notice about Brandon are his eyes- like blue marbles- and a kind, shy smile.  That, and he smelled really terrible.  I once asked him if he ever bathed.  "You're making fun of me," he laughed.  "Not at all," I remarked, "I'm simply concerned about your health.  I wouldn't want you to come down with something... like mange." 

Even with our boys running around the house he slept soundly, wrapped in a puffy down blanket in the center of the living room.  He refused to take a bed.  The blanket had a hole in it so every time Brandon moved there was a puff of white feathers in the air which settled all around and over him like snow.  He reminded me of the peasant companion in "Dances with Wolves-" the guy who takes Kevin Costner to his "post-" the gross guy who has egg and grime all over his face and in his hair and farts while he's sleeping... well, that's what he reminded me of.  Eric pulled him to the bathroom mirror where they stood like two chimpanzees grooming little Brandon- picking the white feathers (and fleas were not out of the question)- from his hair.

He came to church with us that morning.  During the singing he read through my Bible and spent the sermon writing out a long Scripture that he liked on his arm.  Pastor Steve announced that our "new friend Brandon" needed a ride north- just as far as anyone was willing to go.  Bob and Patricia immediately volunteered- driving him the three hours north to Kansas City and buying him a bus ticket for the rest of the trip out east to New Jersey to see his Momma.  So we said goodbye to Brandon but our boys continued to pray for him every night.  We didn't think we would ever see him again.  That was March.

Long story short, he came back in October and has been with us ever since.
He's one of my favorite writing topics because his life amazes me.  He now has his driver's license and a full time job.  He initiates working around the house and playing with our boys.  He is "uncle Brandon" and my little brother.  I'm "big sis."  He just left last Monday for Connecticut- three months with his work.  He said, "I wonder if I will drive past any of the old bridges that I slept under." 

Brandon, we miss you brother.  Be safe and we'll see you when you get home. 
Nothin' but love,
b.

Sidewalk Protest Observations

Tonight I stood on the sidewalk in front of Chick-fil-A and held a sign that said, "Apology and kisses here."  Today was National Same-Sex Kiss Day at all Chick locations so Eric, Brandon, and I took some Hershey kisses and bottled water down to the Chick joint to show the love of Jesus.  When we arrived I went inside and asked the manager if it was okay with them if we stood out front.  They were very kind and gracious to us all evening.  At several different occasions, the owner came out with trays of water and free sandwiches (which the LGBT community refused to eat- so guess how many sandwiches we have in our fridge- HA!). 

I started to feel very discouraged.  Why are we doing this?  Does it matter?  Will anyone notice?  Are we making a difference?  We stood on the sidewalk for about 10 minutes when 6 young ladies (gay and very warm to us) walked up and introduced themselves.  We explained our sign and told them that we are followers of Jesus, apologizing for the way some Christians in the media have been hateful and hurtful in the past week.  We gave them "kisses" and they all said thank you so much, we really appreciate that! and hugged us.  They then grabbed a few of our "Jesus loves you" signs and stood on the sidewalk waving to cars that drove by. 

Two hours later and the crowd continued to grow.  I guess there was a "National Same-Sex Kiss Day" gathering that was planned for that same venue at 7pm that we didn't know about.  God knew.  To every new person that arrived, we explained to them why we were there.  We gave them kisses and shared the love of Jesus.  I looked into their eyes.  I saw a beautiful person.  Created in the image of God.  Loved by God. 

Still, it was a sad evening for me.  I can't tell you how many people drove by and gave them the "bird," and I don't mean chicken.  Several people drove up and asked why my sign said, "Apology and kisses here."  What does your sign mean?  What is the apology?  I think they assumed that I was a part of the crowd, perhaps a lesbian who was standing there ready to apology to Chick-fil-A for our bad behavior.  They were surprised when I explained that I was apologizing for bad Christian behavior.  One man was obviously outraged.  How can you apologize for that?  he demanded,  God doesn't love them.  They are the ones sinning.  He will judge them.  I just smiled and asked him if he wanted a kiss.  As he drove away I said, "Come back again if you would like to talk more!"  (smile)  It's all good.

Unfortunately, I saw and heard what the LGBT community gets all of the time.  Frowning faces, shaking their heads or their fists, pointing up toward heaven (are they supposed to know what that means?).  I asked them if this was like any other normal day for them.  One girl said, "You should see what it's like whenever we go into any store... even WalMart.  People scowling at us and whispering.  My own parents disowned me.  I never see them anymore.  And they were Christians."  All too often, this is the story. 

One particular lady looked like she had had a rough life.  She was dressed like a man and helped my son opened his Popsicle with her large pocketknife.  She was very kind and appreciative.  I want to show you something, she said and opened her phone, it's my daily devotional.  I get it twice a day on my phone.  I have read so much Scripture.  God is the only one that keeps me going. 

As I stood there with them I thought about the words Pastor Steve spoke not long ago:

 "I have never seen a motive."

Everyone standing there had a story.  And the truth is, I don't know their story.  I don't know what led them into homosexuality.  I don't know their hurts, their abandonments, or their hopes.  But their God knows.  And just like you and me, they will someday stand before their God.  They need to know that Jesus saves. 
That Jesus loves.
That Jesus forgives.

Who will tell them?
It's okay if you disagree with- just think it through.

Until soon and with love,
b.

PS- just to reiterate, the owner at the East Chick-fil-A was amazing.  A big thanks to him for being an great witness. 


 

sticks and stones- and Chick-fil-A

"Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

John 13:35

I haven't blogged for a while because it is summer and I have been quite a bit busier than usual but with all of the crazy Chick-fil-A goings on, I feel I must speak up.  I cannot remain quiet about something that has turned into a vicious battle- with Christians hopping right into the middle of the mix.  I'm sickened.

Let me be clear that this is a blog for followers of Jesus.  This is for those who seek to follow the teachings of Christ and know that He called His followers to usher in the Kingdom of God into this dark world- to those called to live a lifestyle contrary to "the world."

Remember that Jesus' own followers believed that the Messiah would come as a mighty tyrant, smashing into the world ready to overcome "the enemy," that was Rome and the oppressive government of the time.  For this reason, Jesus was put to death because He looked nothing like their expectations of the coming Messiah.  He never sought to overcome the government but let it run on in its corruption and hung out with "sinners" while the government ran on.  He loved people.

Now, the Cathy family (who runs Chick-fil-A) can speak up for what they believe and run their business any-ole-way they want.  They don't refuse service to anyone, and because of that, have not taken a stance of hate.  But sadly enough, many other "Christians" in the media have picked up their swords and have used this controversy as an opportunity to swing at "sinners." 

Or more appropriately, have picked up stones to throw at sinners.  Now who does that sound like?  Didn't Jesus tell them (THE RELIGIOUS!) to put down their stones?  "Let He that has no sin throw the first stone."  The people who called themselves Godly were the ones holding the stones. 

Followers of Jesus, our Lord did NOT call us to overthrow a government.  He did NOT call us to stone sinners and politicians and liberal left-wingers.  He did NOT call us to rage wars against homosexuals, abortionists, divorced, drunkards, Democrats, (or shall I list all of our "sins"?... piety, gluttony, pride, judgmentalism, selfishness...).

Put down the stones and the swords.  No one is perfect but our precious Lord. 
God is and has always been and will always be LOVE.
Our job is to LOVE.

Women and Refugees respond to freedom

I would agree with my friend Kari who said that this is the year of FREEDOM.  Yesterday was Independence Day- freedom for the United States- but every day is liberating with the freedom Christ offers.  It's a freedom of the soul.   Once a year, around Christmas, I sell Amani Ya Juu products made by artisans in Kenya.  Below are their own thoughts about freedom...

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With this week's celebration of Independence Day in the United States, we asked some women at Amani Kenya to reflect on what freedom means to them. They shared with us from their different backgrounds. Some are Kenyan, and others are refugees working in Kenya.
 

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Freedom as Peace
Freedom is being free from a certain problem. When I think of freedom I think of being at peace with my inner self. I feel I am the most free when I forgive someone who has done a bad thing to me. I just feel free.
-- Martha Nekesa (Uganda)
 

Freedom as Independence
To me, freedom is the feeling that I can say or do something. It’s when I am able to do what is in my feeling. I feel the most free when I can do something on my own.
-- Millicent Achieng (Kenya)

Freedom from Sin
Freedom is when you let go of your bad past, when you confess and repent of all your sins. It makes me feel joy and peace, and keeps me going forward and not moving backwards. I feel the most free in those moments when you know Jesus Christ is freeing you.
-- Grace Samwel Sebishahu (Tanzania)
 

Freedom to Create & Work
For me freedom is the ability to make a decision and do what I want in peace. When I think of freedom I think of the feeling of being motivated to create new activities. I felt the most free when I came to Kenya; I discovered many things which gave me the freedom to start working hard as I was feeling safe.
-- Diane Nzitonda (Burundi)

Freedom from Fear
Freedom is when you can talk about your burdens with people listening to and understanding you, it’s walking without fear, and it’s looking at your leaders without experiencing discrimination. The purest form of freedom is truly having peace in my heart. Those moments in which I have felt the most free are those when I am living at peace with my neighbours, and when I don’t have problems in my house or family.
-- Janviere Mukamana (Rwanda)

 Just as each of the responses above highlight a different aspect of freedom, the image above represents an important freedom for the women of Amani. It's the center of the  Unity Quilt displayed in the chapel at Amani Kenya. The quilt depicts peace-making traditions from several African cultures represented at Amani. At the center is a woman dancing with her eyes on the cross, a woman celebrating that she is reconciled and free.