little provisions

days like today... i'm so angry and confused and hurt and tired. and i keep thinking about God's love like a downpour- His goodness overflows. i had a wonderful time with some dear friends last night and i am SO thankful for that. i am blessed by my family at northminster and the family that awaits us in wichita. what a blessing. i keep thinking about a scripture... but i forget where it is... it says that the Lord carefully leads those with young and He carries the lambs close to His heart. Eric had taped that scripture to the side of a bookshelf- I remember reading it over and over again when Kaden was an infant and I would rock him all through the night-
i feel the Lord leading us. He has been so close, such a good friend and father.
our new house in wichita has well-water which was tested for safety but still makes me a bit nervous. so i stared looking at water purifiers, deciding that we needed to invest in something when we move there. last night, at Rich and Debbie Jones' house, Debbie walked into the kitchen with a box in her hand. She asked, "Do any of you ladies have a need for this water purifier? it was my moms but she never used it- it's brand new." yea, God? Absolutely. He cares about the little details in our lives. He is so close.
so the ladies and i were all talking about the Lord's goodness and the strange little miracles that bless us along life's journey. i was reminded of a time 8 years ago. My granny had died not long before that and i was missing her. i took a walk through the autumn woods and talked to her out loud. it was an amazing spiritual experience. i felt her and knew she was listening. later that evening, after our concert, i returned to our van to find a crystal light-reflecting globe hanging from the rear-view mirror. Noone knew who placed it there but it was just like the one in Granny's living room. together, she and i would watch the light cast rainbows on the walls. now i'm sure she didn't come down and put it there herself, maybe our concert host just put it there to bless us... but the timing was perfect and i knew that it was a little gift from the Lord to remind me of his nearness and the nearness of our loved ones... this "great cloud of witnesses."
Two weeks ago we visited wichita. In the basement of some new friends there was a painting just like the one that hung in my granny's living room. I commented on it because I always loved the picture and remember it warmly. it's just one of those memories that bring back so many other wonderful memories along with it. i hadn't thought of it in 15 years or more. just seeing it brought a smile to my heart. today after kaden's birthday party, my dad had a trunk-full of gifts for us to take to wichita. he said, "i was just thinking that you might want this..." and pulled out that exact painting. "This hung in granny's living room for as long as i can remember," he said. Of course i remembered... i had just saw it two weeks before. i had to smile... i know the Lord put that on my dad's heart to give to me... I will treasure it forever because it means happy times in my life, and the nearness of my heavenly father. he cares about the small details in our life. yea, God? Absolutely.
So that's a little bit about what's going on with me. i'm not so angry and hurt anymore. why was i hurt in the first place? it's a long story. but for now, i'm doing great and am thankful for such peace and blessing. my father is good. Yea, God.