Shado

this morning came with plenty of bottled emotions. since they regularly disguise themselves as anger, i was walking around venting and spewing all over the family. then our cat, Shado, left the house and disappeared. understand, Shado and i have a sweet little relationship. he's my buddy. whenever he sees me he tilts his head and makes this sweet little throat greeting over and over again. i just love him. so i went outside and called for him. i walked around the street for a while and listened for his collar bell. then i sat down on the front step and cried. the emotions came easily enough. i prayed for him to return but mostly, i just wept. suddenly i heard the little bell. he ran right up to me and greeted me sweetly. i carried him down to the basement, laid down on the floor, and had myself a good cry-out.
i'm sad today. the reality of one more week in cincinnati. my void mother who wants nothing to do with me. my sweet father who is heart-broken. the grandparents i leave behind. my baby sister. my fears of the future. my apprehensions of wichita. our new house which is out of my control and foreign. my friends.
i hate my hair.