Turtle suicide

Well today I saw a turtle getting ready to commit suicide.  I was driving home and he was starting to crawl out into the tollway where the trucks and cars were following fast behind me.  I looked into my rear view mirror and could no longer him... I knew not what his fate would be.  I wanted to stop, to pull my car to the side, to save him.  I sit a good four feet off of the ground and from where I am I can see that there is no future beyond the tollway.  There is only concrete and barrier.  Behind his slow crawl was a vast field of grass and wildflower.  I'm sure there were endless bugs for him to munch.  And beyond the field was a pond.  Perhaps that was were he came from.  His family was just too much to take.  They criticized him for moving too fast.  His shell had too many geometrical shapes.  He liked to sleep in the mud.

He was ending it all right in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do.  I prayed that he would somehow understand the truth about his sweet turtle self before the tire came along.  Perhaps he would see a quick glimpse in the chrome of a passing vehicle.  Perhaps that was my vehicle.  He would see his reflection and notice his incredibly, artistically created design.  He would turn around and look for a pond full of artists.

So, this story has an upbeat ending.  Driving on the road later that day, I saw no totaled turtle bits.  

I like to think he found hope.  

And perhaps there's still hope for the rest of us as well.

Until soon,

b.

Following rules

The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. (Romans 8:3 NLT)

I love this scripture.  God saved us because we are just too weak to obey any law, no matter how small of a commandment.  We cannot obey and will look for a way to break the law.  We are weak.

I am weak.  I cannot obey.  I cannot obey you, lord.  I cannot do what you ask me to do.  I will always follow my selfish flesh.  I will always look for a way to please myself.  I cannot save me.

In the garden of Eden.  They had one rule.  They broke it.  Then God gave Moses ten rules to follow.  They broke every single one.  And then Jesus came and said "follow me" and I'm thinking that pretty much sums up what he wants us to do but "it's hard to be like Jesus" as Rich once said...

So Jesus did the dirty work.  He said (paraphrasing, of course), "you give up yet?  Good.  Now do your best and let me take it from there because there's no way in hell you're gonna make it to heaven like that."

Okay.  I'm sorry for how much I suck, and yes, I give up.  Go ahead and take it.. Take me...  I'll try to follow you as best as I can...

with love, 

b.

A Holy Day

"So the creation of the heavens and the earth and everything in them was completed. On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. 

And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation. 

This is the account of the creation of the heavens and the earth. When the Lord God made the earth and the heavens."  (Genesis 2:1-4 NLT)

I love this image of God.  He has been working hard, creating the world and everything in it.  That's a lot of work!  I'm not one of those Christians who really cares how long this LITERALLY took to do- days or millions of years... I believe God is capable of working within process.  But I love the image of Him resting.  I love to rest.  I love to nap.  I love to sit by the pool in the sun with some music, spray bottle, snack, and pina colada.  I picture God sitting back saying, "Now THIS is a great day!"  and just His very words make it so.  It becomes THE GREAT DAY for all people, for all time.  He "declared it holy."  

Today is a Monday.  I am sitting outside on a cool, drizzly Kansas day.  Everything is green and I am resting.  I declare today "holy."  

Now THIS is a great day!

until soon, 

b.

Just a run to the park

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." (1 Timothy 4:8 NIV)

I awoke this morning to a beautiful day.  It's my day off and the only thing on the calendar is date-day with my husband and family time together this evening.  The sun is shining, my chickens are scratching in the dirt for small insects like ticks and fleas (thank you God) and I am awake and rested.

I put my contacts in and check on my Adventure Fish, an iPad app addiction.  I head to the kitchen for coffee and an orange.. What a great day for a run!  I think I'll hook up the little doggie to her leash and run to the park.  Yes, please.

But I feel something.  What is it? A small unrest.  What did I forget?  Is something else on the calendar?  I check.  Nope.  Okay, I forgot God.  

So I take my coffee outside and sit in the shade.  I have my bible app, which has become my bible and journal and blog in one.  I love it.  The chickens are still scratching, the birds are twittering around the trees, and I am now perfectly at peace.  Everything is so much better with God.  I'm sitting here with my workout clothes on and this is the scripture for the day... For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things...

I think of my family, my friends, and my clients.  How much they need for me to be tied in to Christ.  I think of myself.  How much I need Him to be near.. To speak into my heart and guide my day.  Even if its just a run to the park.

Until soon,

b.

Bee in the sand

My professor was teaching on the power of language- the power words have over us- when he used the example of the beach. He told us to remember the last time we were at the beach. The warm sand, the relaxing sounds, etc...

It took me back to Mazatlan. I left the resort pool and walked down the small steps to the beach where vendors were selling dresses, sunglasses, jewelry. The sand was warm on my bare feet and I walked quietly through the dry sand, my face to the sun, the wind in my hair... When a pain shot up through the ball of my foot into my ankle. I looked down to see a bee still stuck in the flesh of my foot. I was immediately angry. I looked around to see hundreds of bees in the sand. They had built a nest nearby in the base of a rock and a hotel worker was trying to kill them by covering them with sand... Not a great plan.

As I thought about this in class, I remember that it felt offensive. I was enjoying the stillness, the relaxation. True, I stepped on the bee so technically it was my fault but it was so unexpected and jolting. I could no longer enjoy a beach memory without the pain of the bee sting. Sometimes memories are like this. A pleasant time, like childhood, can become a painful recollection because of unexpected pain.

Healing comes when we recreate the scene. Here's how it goes...

I leave the resort pool and walk down the small steps to the beach where vendors are selling dresses, sunglasses, jewelry. The sand is warm on my bare feet. I walk quietly through the dry sand, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. I find a plastic beach chair and spread out my towel. I reach for my iPod and scroll through the songs to find Gotye. The hotel waiter comes over and asks if I would like a drink. I order a piña colada, of course. He also informs me that there was a nest of bees close to here this morning but they sprayed, killed them, and took the dead bees to the landfill. The sand is clean.

I walk through this new memory again and again. Now I walk in the warm sand with peace.

Until soon,
b.

Expect darkness

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NLT)

A friend came to visit this week and shared about her newlywed struggles. She and her husband have been married over two years and are noticing how HARD marriage can be.

I thought of this verse... "here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows."

Here's the deal. I think we often let the world sway our thoughts. We let the world tell us that life should be good, peaceful, and happy. We think our days should be filled with blessing, good news, gifts, and bliss. As if we were already on the other side.. Living out eternity. True, the kingdom of heaven is here with us right now and so we can experience Christ's peace but we still live in this sinful world. So... The norm will always be pain and trial. Suffering.

The exception is ease.
Expect pain and sorrow. Expect suffering. Expect darkness.

This is why we must encourage one another and spread the light of Christ's hope. This dark world will always give us great suffering. But take heart, He has overcome the world.

Until soon,
b.

Remembering the good things

"Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases." (Psalms 103:2, 3 NLT)

I imagine the author of this psalm (song) repeating this line to himself over and over again.

"may I never forget the GOOD THINGS... the Good Things... the good things..."

The BAD things are what he mentions in the next line- sins and diseases. We live in a constant awareness of sins and diseases. Personally, I live daily in my sin. I am always aware of my human limitations and how far I have to grow to be like Jesus. I also live in my diseases. These are my addictions and the affects of the sin on my life.

I like to think about the "fruits of the Holy Spirit," or the characteristics of a godly life. They are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). I PRAY that I would live constantly in these good characteristics but I fall short, so short. I pray to be loving- because I expect love from God and others. I pray to be patient- because I expect patience from God and others. I pray to be gentle- because I expect gentleness from God and others...

I fall so short.

So let us remember the GOOD THINGS. God is in the business of (daily, constantly, always) forgiving our sins. He is in the business of (daily, constantly, always) healing our diseases. He is in the business of making us new.. renewed each day.

So let ALL THAT I AM praise the Lord.
Let the good and the bad of me praise the Lord.

Let my sins and my diseases...
the good character and the bad...
the trying exceptionally hard and the half-assed part of me...
the faithful and the faithless parts of me...
let ALL THAT I AM praise The Lord.

Amen and until soon,
b.