2 years

Transformative Journey

you are the potter i am the clay
and these were the fires of hell

you dare not touch me now
i am melted. i am boiling.

yet beware me when i cool
i will be unbreakable

if you will see me on that day
you evaporate

You can now purchase my book!

Hey there..

My book is now available for purchase on Amazon.  Click on the link below!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L88NIDY

until soon,
b.

Of one mind

"I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose."  (1 Corinthians 1:10 NLT)

Be of one mind.  Here Paul is speaking to the church.. All believers and followers of Jesus.  I gotta tell ya though, I feel like he's speaking to me and that's enough.  It's hard enough for ME to be of one mind.  To know exactly what I want.  To stand firmly on one principle, one belief, one ideal.  People say things like... Well, I'm going back and forth on that... Or... I'm not sure what I feel about...

The Bible calls this a "double-minded man."  He's like a ship tossed about in the ocean.  The group Fun has a song out called "Some Nights."  It says "I'm still not sure what I stand for..."  Most of us feel this way about something in our lives.  

So how difficult it is, then, for an entire community of believers to be "of one mind."  United in thought and purpose.  As Christians, what is our purpose?  Some feel that it is to lead people to Jesus. Some feel our purpose is to convince sinners of their sin.  Some feel that it is to grow the church (through membership in the church social club).  We simply don't agree.  Yet sometimes we just simply don't agree with ourselves.  

So what do you stand for?  What's your purpose?  

until soon,

b.

I thirst

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God." (Psalm 42:1 NIV)

Thirst.  It is the body's way of signaling a basic need for fluid.  Without water, the body's salt content becomes too high which can cause problems such as renal failure, seizures, neurological problems (thank you, Google)... Everything has a craving.

Water.  It is the life force.  We are conceived and grown in water.  We are largely made of water.  We crave water.  We build cities on rivers.  We have died by large plagues resulting from contaminated water.  We have drowned in water.  There was a flood...

Yet my body pants for water.  I cannot live without it.  I cannot live without God.  WE cannot live without God.  We need pure God.  We try to siphon water from foods we eat, fruit, coke products, coffee.. We try to siphon God from the love of others, nature, highs... We need a tall glass of pure God.  To build our city on the river.  To pant for Him.  To be the tree that grows our roots down deep into the water reserve (a lot of metaphors but you get the picture).  

Are you dehydrated?  Run an I.V.  Attach yourself into our loving parent.  Or an umbilical cord, if you will.  Pant and crave and seek out His pure water.  Thirst.

until soon, 

b.

Abel still speaks

"By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead."  (Hebrews 11:4 NIV)

If you don't know the story, Abel and Cain were the children of Adam and Eve.. the naked people in the garden of Eden.  Abel and Cain were bringing sacrifices to God one day.  Abel brought a lamb and Cain brought some fruit.  Cain's fruit was probably bruised and half rotten, Abel's lamb was perfect.. The pick of the litter.  

The story is one of the heart.  God was pleased with Abel's offering because he had grout God his very best.  Cain brought his leftovers because he was saving the best for himself.  Well, Cain was mad at Abel for pleasing God and he killed him.. the Bible's first murder.

How is it that Abel still speaks to us?  

What does it mean to be righteous?

until soon, 

b.

Being an introvert

I am an introvert.  One of the small percentage of the quietly strange.  I am an observer of life, a watcher at gatherings, a listener to life's small whispers.

I notice the ignored.  The crickets in the prairie.  The crooked feather in the hawk's tail.  The squirrel in the underbrush.  

I lie in bed after waking to process my dreams.  I think about my thoughts.  Too much noise exhausts me.  Too much movement exhausts me.  I sleep long nights.  I nap in the day.  I drive with the radio off and the windows rolled down.

I am an introvert.  Part of a small, blessed percentage.  We are the introspective.  We are tuned into life's sacred rhythms.  We are the contemplative poets.  We are the tree blossoms that float down to the river and are rocked gently downstream.  

A small, blessed percentage in prayer for the rest of the world.

Until soon,

b.

A holy life

Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. (Hebrews 12:14 NLT)

Living in peace.  I'm quite sure that those I am living with are the ones who would often second-guess my holiness.  They are the ones who witness firsthand how un-peaceful I can be.  

Living a holy life is hard work.  Truly, it must be worked at. And worked at. And worked at.  

And for the next part of that scripture I was wondering if that meant that if I did not live a holy life I would not "see The Lord"- or go to heaven.  But I read it a bit differently.  I think that those that are not "holy" (or folks that don't walk with Jesus) will never see Him if we don't live out what holiness looks like.  Walking with Jesus means that our lives SHOULD look different.. We should have more peace, more patience, more goodness, more faithfulness, more love, more joy, more gentleness, more self-control (the "fruits of the Spirit").  We should live lives that make them desire to see The Lord!  

But they will never see it if we don't show it to them.  Show them Jesus.  

It's hard to be like Jesus... But keep on.

Until soon,

b.

Turtle suicide

Well today I saw a turtle getting ready to commit suicide.  I was driving home and he was starting to crawl out into the tollway where the trucks and cars were following fast behind me.  I looked into my rear view mirror and could no longer him... I knew not what his fate would be.  I wanted to stop, to pull my car to the side, to save him.  I sit a good four feet off of the ground and from where I am I can see that there is no future beyond the tollway.  There is only concrete and barrier.  Behind his slow crawl was a vast field of grass and wildflower.  I'm sure there were endless bugs for him to munch.  And beyond the field was a pond.  Perhaps that was were he came from.  His family was just too much to take.  They criticized him for moving too fast.  His shell had too many geometrical shapes.  He liked to sleep in the mud.

He was ending it all right in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do.  I prayed that he would somehow understand the truth about his sweet turtle self before the tire came along.  Perhaps he would see a quick glimpse in the chrome of a passing vehicle.  Perhaps that was my vehicle.  He would see his reflection and notice his incredibly, artistically created design.  He would turn around and look for a pond full of artists.

So, this story has an upbeat ending.  Driving on the road later that day, I saw no totaled turtle bits.  

I like to think he found hope.  

And perhaps there's still hope for the rest of us as well.

Until soon,

b.

Following rules

The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. (Romans 8:3 NLT)

I love this scripture.  God saved us because we are just too weak to obey any law, no matter how small of a commandment.  We cannot obey and will look for a way to break the law.  We are weak.

I am weak.  I cannot obey.  I cannot obey you, lord.  I cannot do what you ask me to do.  I will always follow my selfish flesh.  I will always look for a way to please myself.  I cannot save me.

In the garden of Eden.  They had one rule.  They broke it.  Then God gave Moses ten rules to follow.  They broke every single one.  And then Jesus came and said "follow me" and I'm thinking that pretty much sums up what he wants us to do but "it's hard to be like Jesus" as Rich once said...

So Jesus did the dirty work.  He said (paraphrasing, of course), "you give up yet?  Good.  Now do your best and let me take it from there because there's no way in hell you're gonna make it to heaven like that."

Okay.  I'm sorry for how much I suck, and yes, I give up.  Go ahead and take it.. Take me...  I'll try to follow you as best as I can...

with love, 

b.

A Holy Day

"So the creation of the heavens and the earth and everything in them was completed. On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. 

And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation. 

This is the account of the creation of the heavens and the earth. When the Lord God made the earth and the heavens."  (Genesis 2:1-4 NLT)

I love this image of God.  He has been working hard, creating the world and everything in it.  That's a lot of work!  I'm not one of those Christians who really cares how long this LITERALLY took to do- days or millions of years... I believe God is capable of working within process.  But I love the image of Him resting.  I love to rest.  I love to nap.  I love to sit by the pool in the sun with some music, spray bottle, snack, and pina colada.  I picture God sitting back saying, "Now THIS is a great day!"  and just His very words make it so.  It becomes THE GREAT DAY for all people, for all time.  He "declared it holy."  

Today is a Monday.  I am sitting outside on a cool, drizzly Kansas day.  Everything is green and I am resting.  I declare today "holy."  

Now THIS is a great day!

until soon, 

b.

Just a run to the park

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." (1 Timothy 4:8 NIV)

I awoke this morning to a beautiful day.  It's my day off and the only thing on the calendar is date-day with my husband and family time together this evening.  The sun is shining, my chickens are scratching in the dirt for small insects like ticks and fleas (thank you God) and I am awake and rested.

I put my contacts in and check on my Adventure Fish, an iPad app addiction.  I head to the kitchen for coffee and an orange.. What a great day for a run!  I think I'll hook up the little doggie to her leash and run to the park.  Yes, please.

But I feel something.  What is it? A small unrest.  What did I forget?  Is something else on the calendar?  I check.  Nope.  Okay, I forgot God.  

So I take my coffee outside and sit in the shade.  I have my bible app, which has become my bible and journal and blog in one.  I love it.  The chickens are still scratching, the birds are twittering around the trees, and I am now perfectly at peace.  Everything is so much better with God.  I'm sitting here with my workout clothes on and this is the scripture for the day... For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things...

I think of my family, my friends, and my clients.  How much they need for me to be tied in to Christ.  I think of myself.  How much I need Him to be near.. To speak into my heart and guide my day.  Even if its just a run to the park.

Until soon,

b.

Bee in the sand

My professor was teaching on the power of language- the power words have over us- when he used the example of the beach. He told us to remember the last time we were at the beach. The warm sand, the relaxing sounds, etc...

It took me back to Mazatlan. I left the resort pool and walked down the small steps to the beach where vendors were selling dresses, sunglasses, jewelry. The sand was warm on my bare feet and I walked quietly through the dry sand, my face to the sun, the wind in my hair... When a pain shot up through the ball of my foot into my ankle. I looked down to see a bee still stuck in the flesh of my foot. I was immediately angry. I looked around to see hundreds of bees in the sand. They had built a nest nearby in the base of a rock and a hotel worker was trying to kill them by covering them with sand... Not a great plan.

As I thought about this in class, I remember that it felt offensive. I was enjoying the stillness, the relaxation. True, I stepped on the bee so technically it was my fault but it was so unexpected and jolting. I could no longer enjoy a beach memory without the pain of the bee sting. Sometimes memories are like this. A pleasant time, like childhood, can become a painful recollection because of unexpected pain.

Healing comes when we recreate the scene. Here's how it goes...

I leave the resort pool and walk down the small steps to the beach where vendors are selling dresses, sunglasses, jewelry. The sand is warm on my bare feet. I walk quietly through the dry sand, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. I find a plastic beach chair and spread out my towel. I reach for my iPod and scroll through the songs to find Gotye. The hotel waiter comes over and asks if I would like a drink. I order a piña colada, of course. He also informs me that there was a nest of bees close to here this morning but they sprayed, killed them, and took the dead bees to the landfill. The sand is clean.

I walk through this new memory again and again. Now I walk in the warm sand with peace.

Until soon,
b.

Expect darkness

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NLT)

A friend came to visit this week and shared about her newlywed struggles. She and her husband have been married over two years and are noticing how HARD marriage can be.

I thought of this verse... "here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows."

Here's the deal. I think we often let the world sway our thoughts. We let the world tell us that life should be good, peaceful, and happy. We think our days should be filled with blessing, good news, gifts, and bliss. As if we were already on the other side.. Living out eternity. True, the kingdom of heaven is here with us right now and so we can experience Christ's peace but we still live in this sinful world. So... The norm will always be pain and trial. Suffering.

The exception is ease.
Expect pain and sorrow. Expect suffering. Expect darkness.

This is why we must encourage one another and spread the light of Christ's hope. This dark world will always give us great suffering. But take heart, He has overcome the world.

Until soon,
b.

Remembering the good things

"Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases." (Psalms 103:2, 3 NLT)

I imagine the author of this psalm (song) repeating this line to himself over and over again.

"may I never forget the GOOD THINGS... the Good Things... the good things..."

The BAD things are what he mentions in the next line- sins and diseases. We live in a constant awareness of sins and diseases. Personally, I live daily in my sin. I am always aware of my human limitations and how far I have to grow to be like Jesus. I also live in my diseases. These are my addictions and the affects of the sin on my life.

I like to think about the "fruits of the Holy Spirit," or the characteristics of a godly life. They are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). I PRAY that I would live constantly in these good characteristics but I fall short, so short. I pray to be loving- because I expect love from God and others. I pray to be patient- because I expect patience from God and others. I pray to be gentle- because I expect gentleness from God and others...

I fall so short.

So let us remember the GOOD THINGS. God is in the business of (daily, constantly, always) forgiving our sins. He is in the business of (daily, constantly, always) healing our diseases. He is in the business of making us new.. renewed each day.

So let ALL THAT I AM praise the Lord.
Let the good and the bad of me praise the Lord.

Let my sins and my diseases...
the good character and the bad...
the trying exceptionally hard and the half-assed part of me...
the faithful and the faithless parts of me...
let ALL THAT I AM praise The Lord.

Amen and until soon,
b.

Writing Retreat continues here!

To my Writing Retreat friends:

Well, I apologize for being so busy! I have decided to offer some prompts here on a regular basis. I know it's not the same as a comfy room and a warm wood stove but maybe, just maybe, it will be a good option for us. Please feel free to share your journal entries below or email them to me! Let's write together! Don't forget the wine and cookies!

How would you draw a little girl's laugh? What colors and shapes would you use?

until soon,
b.

Love your enemies... Ugh

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you." (Luke 6:27, 28 NLT)

Ugh. This is one of those verses that I don't like to "listen" to. The truth is, we don't often use words like "enemies." I don't even have people that "curse me" or even "hate me." I just have people in my life that bug me... or piss me off... or get on my nerves... or that I try to avoid... or have hurt my feelings...

Let me tell ya.. This is why I don't have Christian bumper stickers on my car! Besides being cheesy, I don't want other drivers to know that I'm supposed to be loving them and praying for them... Instead of cutting them off and giving them nasty looks. Just saying.

You think those annoying, mean people would still apply? Of course. Because just like I said a few sentences ago, I can be just as annoying, mean, cursing, hating, biting as anyone else. It's not supposed to be that way because I have the Holy Spirit within me but I still sin. As much as I hate the sin, I still live in it. Ugh.

You too? Well, pray for me. I'll pray for you. We need each other and some day we will all be in perfect peace with the Father. That's a "yay!"

Until soon,
b.

Does God tweet?

Did you know that a Bible verse has about 25 words on average?  That's about the same amount as a Tweet or Facebook stat.  God has been Tweeting us for a long time!

Here's a challenge for you.  Take any random verse- only one- and meditate upon it.  Can you find anything in that one verse that may apply to your life?  Or some new insight into the character of who God is?

Here's one that I tried:

"And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:21 NLT)

I picked it apart and this is what I found...

Everyone has a job.  Mary will give birth.  Joseph (to whom the verse is spoken) will give the child a name.  Jesus will save the people.  The people will sin.

It's our job to sin.  It's what we're good at.  Mary and Joseph were sinners as well and God was making quite a gamble by giving them such a risky job.

Fun, huh?

Try one for yourself!  It's the best Tweet you'll read all day.

until soon,
b.

Happier

I found this new app that I just love: Happier. It makes me think about the positives in my life and steers clear of the Facebook negativity. It really makes me happy!

Today I read through some other posts that also brightened my day. One woman was happy to be talking to her father after his heart attack yesterday. Another woman saw people picking litter off the highway. One man said he loved his wife's cooking.

I loved the weather today. Playing with my baby ducks and chicks. Seeing the colorful birds on the feeders. Hearing my son laugh while reading. Spending the morning with Eric.

Hoping you feel Happier today!

Until soon,
b.

Things I too often forget...

I have an amazing chiropractor and massage therapist. I look forward to visiting them every month (just for maintenance- which works great!) for health reason but also for fun and great conversation. My massage therapist always offers great advice and life counsel along with my body work. During one session, she was having a particularly hard day and said, "You know, it's times like this when I envy people like you- people of faith. I just can't comprehend believing in God, believing that you can just give problems away to someone."

I was reminded of this a few weeks later when I was having a particularly hard day. Her words came back to me.

I've been a follower of Jesus for a long time and how often I forget this simple, wonderful truth.

I have God.

Faith is hard. I don't always give my problems away! I like to keep them and struggle with them on my own! But how true, and how beautiful, that I can give them away and He takes them.

Good news.

until soon,
b.

Simple Things

I know, I know.  I'm back.  It's been forever since I have blogged.  Can you ever forgive me?  Okay, I'll make it worth your while... I'll tell you a great story.  Ready?  

So I was at Walgreens yesterday and I noticed a little lady, about 80 years old, standing in front of the Easter stuffed animal section.  She was pushing the button on a little pink bunny, listening to it sing a sweet song in a miniature child's voice.  She stood there smiling.  A little lady, about 80 years old, in a brown trench coat, her left arm clutching her handbag, bent over a small pink singing bunny.  Smiling.  It was one of the most precious scenes I have seen in a while.  She did not just push the button once.  She pushed it again and again and was still standing there when I went to checkout.  

But before I reached the cash register, I walked up to her and thanked her for bringing so much joy to my day...

It's the simple things.  

Last week I took three days of retreat with my dog, Sasha.  We stayed at a friend's cabin by a lake in nowhere, Kansas.  It was quiet, secluded, and perfect.  We had no cell service and no Wifi.  We slept a lot, took long walks through the prairie grasses, mucked in the lake mud, and ate granola bars (Sasha's not too fond of them but still begs for bites) in the morning sun.  On one morning, Sasha woke me at 6am, whimpering to be let outside.  The morning was brisky bitter cold.  I waited maybe 3 minutes and jumped back into my warm bed.  I lay there half asleep when I felt the nudge... the "wake up and sit outside with me... watch the sunrise with me..."  The Lord's sweet whisper.  The Lord "bidding" for my attention.  So I went.  I sat out in the tall grass, the morning sunlight on my face, and listened.  I hear a woodpecker.  A swallow.  A dog bark.  Wind through the branches.  

Nothing else.  All was quiet.  Sasha bounding through the morning- chasing hopping bugs...

It's the simple things.

until soon,

b.